*I don’t own nor did I create the images in this post*
A friend of mine, let’s call him Chester, once told me about a new year’s where they decided ‘this year is for me’ and ‘new year, new me’. The only difference between this individual and most resolution-makers was that after this statement; he proceeded to make drastic and irreparable decisions in many avenues of his life. While I am one who can typically see the good in all things and embrace change, however overwhelming, I couldn’t help but eye his decisions and ask, as a true friend who won’t simply and dismissively encourage whatever whims he had, ‘so did you make any changes for the better?’
Chester’s response was that of a proud individual. Yes, they were hard decisions that cost him everything he knew, but on the other hand he is experiencing all new walks of life.
“I never noticed how unhappy you were, you really held it all together. It takes a lot of courage to makes teh decisions you did, but you certainly don’t seem happier now. I want to ask you, because if you’ve been thinking it, I want you to know you can let it out to a friend; do you have any regrets?”
Hah, regrets are meaningless and only bring you down.
“I mean, do you think you made the right decisions?”
Thinking about that goes hand in hand with ‘regret’ and I try not to focus my energy on that – it’s counter productive.
“Well, are you happier now?”
I am different. I think the happy and sadness part balanced out for now, but I’ll be happy again someday.
“I know you will, you will find a way to be happy with the new life you created and you deserve to be. I do think that what you call ‘regret’ could maybe be a lesson to take away from a decision you wouldn’t want to recreate in your future happiness. It’s worth thinking about, identifying what really went wrong, and being mindful; no?”
That’s way too much thought to put into something this stressful. If it comes up again, I’ll know what to do.
I’ve spoken about the difference between change and evolution before in an older post here. I think sometimes we find ourselves a bit stale, blaming situations or people around us and saying ‘if only i had a different job’ or ‘if only i was single’ or ‘if only i was with someone special’ without really coming to terms that the complacency starts and ends with yourself; do you need to kill off 2018’s self to sow 2019’s? Sounds like an absence of growth.
The intention of my post is to cultivate a thought with you.
You may have needed a change for a long time and feel compelled to run with it – do it! Make your life the adventure it has always been meant to be! I believe the New Year is a new opportunity (as is every new day) to establish yourself, to invent your future self by taking the great individual you presently are and saying ‘what would it take to be even more fulfilled?’ Don’t sell yourself short thinking you weren’t good enough before, look at what you’ve accomplished so far in your life and how strangers would be envious of what you have done. It could be simply by having a job to go to, a good friend to talk to, someone to hug, your health, whatever your heart desires, and your life.
Be grateful. Be mindful. Be hopeful.
Stay lovely and evolve.